The Ebbs and Flows of Emotions
On TV and in Movies, you see the females stereotypically getting angry, sad, and irritated during their “time of the month”. It’s something that is often portrayed as a man’s worst nightmare; being around a woman when she has PMS. Often it is very dramatic and can be used in a comedic episode.
When this happens in real life though, it sucks.
My melancholy from yesterday seemed to roll over into today and is deciding to drown me this morning. I’m going to use the cop out and say it’s because my period is coming. Knowing that and using it as an excuse doesn’t make me feel any better. What I want in reality is a hug, a big one. To feel like someone loves me for who I am, not just because they think I’m pretty. To sit outside in the sunshine and not be stuck in the office all day. To just be acknowledged and for someone to say thank you.
It’s not a lot, is it?
I have been with the same person for a few years. We have an open relationship and most days I just feel like we are coasting by, or we are just friends. There is no daily affection and conversation. We just reside in the same house and go to things together, and sometimes have sex. I am not usually bothered by this. I go my way, he goes his, we are happy. Except now, when I get like this I just want someone to hold me, and feel affectionate towards me.
It is all because of this time of the month and it’s stupid.
I am the type of person who is perceived and being strong, self-competent, and intimidating. I think that is why I don’t voice my needs because I am always the caretaker and the nurturer. I listen and help, but I don’t get that in return. I, also, feel like I don’t deserve it after everything I have done and been through that I have what I need and deserve. So this season of the month I will just keep going, I will listen to my sappy sad music and I will power through my day. Tomorrow I will be on the farm working and I will get my little slice of home time.
Until then though, I will power through my day and just pretend that nothing is wrong. Since that is the stereotypical Boss Lady attitude right?
